Checklist for when I get back1. "Mission Accomplished" Beer
2. Homecoming party/BBQ
3. Kiss pretty girl
4. Full-body massage
5. Near-Coma sleep fest
6. Xbox Live marathon
7. Visit friend in Pennsylvania
8. Visit Uncle Bob and Aunt Frankie in Seattle
9. Visit Grandma Jo in Oregon
10. Brag about how much money was saved on deployment
11. Somehow spend it all on women and booze
12. Immediately regret spending money
13. Cry inside
14. Demand free food and drink at any restaurant I go to while using "Iraq" excuse
16. Act fidgety, twitch eye, repeatedly mutter "Post traumatic disorder", whenever free food is not provided
17. Get kicked out of an establishment
18. Apologize to family, especially mother
19. Dread returning to Norfolk
20. Have mom make biscuits and gravy
I have a plan and I intend to follow it. That is all.
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:raises hand to volunteer in assisting with number six:
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